Fateful Kiss
by steepedinshadows419
Summary: 2x18 - Canon Divergent - Iris takes a risk and shows Barry her true feelings when he's at his most vulnerable. Things escalate from there. Barry/Iris. Multi-Chap. [25 Days of Westallen Fanfiction: Day 5, 6 and 18]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** That fb scene Nora spied on in 5x08 meant to take place at the end of 2x18 gave me feels, so I started this. Hopefully I can finish it this month, but who knows honestly. Anyway, this first chapter is mostly just the scene from the ep (5x08) word-for-word, or at least half of it is. It's also my fic for Day 5 of 25 Days of Westallen Fanfiction. I hope you enjoy!

 ***** Many thanks to **sendtherain** for beta'ing.

 ***** I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

 **Chapter 1 -**

Everyone dispersed from the room pretty quickly. Joe left with Wally. Cisco likely retreated to his workshop, devastated over Caitlin's unexpected kidnapping. Harry left, blaming them all for this turn of events. Despite being aware of the direction everyone had gone, Iris' eyes stayed glued to Barry. When he rushed into the hall, overwhelmed by what had just happened, there was no question that she would follow him.

She found his face pressed to the wall as he fought to stay standing and quietly slid in next to him.

"Barry," she said softly, greeted with nothing but his heavy breathing. She placed her hand on him in a hopefully comforting gesture. "You can't let your losses stop you. You're the one who taught me that."

He turned around, not facing her but not leaving her side either.

"You have to keep moving, you have to…push through. You have to find a way. You have to fight."

He sank down the wall, no doubt trying to listen to her words, trying to see a path through the failure.

Iris went down on her knees beside him, resting her hand on his back, reassuring as always, gentle in her determination to keep him from falling apart.

"So that nothing will ever hold you back, Barry." She paused. "Zoom took Caitlin, and I know you lost your speed, but…everyone is here to help." Barry nodded, and she felt a minor victory. "My dad, Cisco, Harry…" She held her breath, wondering if she should insert one more name. Wondering if she should put herself out there, given how she felt about him. Even if he assumed she only meant friendship.

Resolved to accept whatever it might bring, she gripped his arm to bring his full attention to her.

"Me."

He turned to look at her, finally meeting her gaze, seeing the concern there and letting it wash over him. She felt relief, and she knew he was feeling it too.

She also registered how he wasn't looking away, and how she wasn't looking away. Unable to stop herself, her eyes dropped to his lips. When she looked back up into his eyes, she saw some confusion there, like he thought he'd seen something that wasn't real, and she couldn't stop herself.

She leaned forward and kissed him.

It was a single kiss, meant to satisfy her urge, meant to be addressed later. He responded by kissing back, but only slightly, maybe only on instinct. When she pulled back, she saw more confusion in his eyes. He didn't know what was happening, and he didn't know what it meant. She didn't blame him. She hardly knew herself.

She should've stopped then. She should've brushed it off as _something_ , she didn't know what. Maybe she should've just ignored it, laid her head on his shoulder, gripped his hand as a comfort and just pretended it didn't happen.

But she didn't do any of those things.

Instead, she reached out and sank her fingers into his hair, sweaty, plastered to his skin, but she didn't care. She watched how her fingers disappeared into the brown locks, and then she leaned forward and kissed him again.

This time he responded more. He turned towards her fully when her other hand cupped his face and started pulling him to her. Iris could hardly get a hold of herself until he was falling out of his perched squat and nearly on top of her. The jolt caused them both to break apart.

"W-Wait, Iris."

He was breathing heavily, and she waited for him to right himself. Whatever he wanted to call this, she would let him. He deserved it after the night he had. He'd saved her brother and lost a friend, his speed, and any hope of protecting the city from Zoom. If he didn't want to deal with what had just transpired in this moment, then-

"I can't go home," he said, interrupting her thoughts.

Her brows furrowed.

"I can't go home to Joe, to Wally. Wally doesn't know I'm the Flash. And I can't…he won't understand. He won't-"

"Hey, hey, it's okay," she said, rubbing his arm soothingly. "You don't have to."

He sighed, relieved, but the dilemma of where he would stay crossed his features. Harry was going to be at STAR Labs, and he was pissed. Cisco was devastated over the loss of Caitlin. That only left…

"You can come home with me."

His brows furrowed. "Iris-"

"Not for that," she said. "Not unless you-" She shook her head and met his eyes again, determination at the forefront. "If you want someplace safe to stay, where you don't have to worry about answering questions you don't want to or… If you just want to get some sleep. I have room." She gripped his arm again, squeezing gently. "Come home with me."

Barry debated for a couple seconds, maybe more, and then nodded.

"Okay."

…

When Iris opened the door to her single room apartment and Barry spotted the loveseat couch, he felt a fight rise up in him.

"Iris, maybe I shouldn't-"

She spun around to face him. "What? Why?"

He gestured to the couch. "There's no way I can-"

She relaxed. "Oh, don't worry about that. I'm taking the couch."

"Iris, no, I'll just-"

"You'll stay here and sleep in my bed is what you'll do."

"Iris."

"I fit perfectly on that couch, Barry, and my bed is long enough to fit you on it." She looked away briefly at the implications of that. "It's fine. I insist you use it."

Not wanting to argue the point, Barry nodded.

Iris smiled. "Let me just grab some blankets and a pillow, then you can get to sleep."

He heaved a heavy sigh but didn't try to stop her. Within minutes she was changed into cozy pajamas and had situation herself on the couch. He still stood there looking helpless, so she got up and hugged him tightly. It didn't matter that he didn't really hug her back.

She tipped her chin up to look at him.

"Get some sleep, Barry. We'll figure everything else out in the morning."

He nodded again and untangled himself from her. Then he went down the short hall to her bedroom and closed the door behind him.

…

Iris hadn't lied when she said the couch fit her perfectly. It did, and she was comfortable. But she couldn't sleep for the life of her. She kept thinking about Barry and how he must be feeling. Not just about his speed and Wally and Caitlin and Zoom, but about their kiss. It was probably selfish of her, but she couldn't help it. She'd been unsure if he still liked her the way she realized she now liked him. She couldn't help but think that his reciprocating their kiss, especially the second time, was a sign that he did.

He wouldn't just kiss her because he was seeking some comfort, right? Her Barry wouldn't do that.

Iris turned over again on the couch, trying to put the thought out of her mind, to clear her mind so she could finally sleep. But she noticed then a stream of light under her bedroom door. She didn't know if it had been on this whole time or not, but it was past 3am. Maybe Barry was having a hard time sleeping too.

She peeled the blankets back and quietly stood to her feet, rounding the couch. She hesitated, unsure of where this would go, if nothing would happen. Maybe he just wanted to sleep with the lights on because having the lights off reminded him too much of Zoom, reminded him of everything he hated and all that he'd lost.

But then she saw a shadow under the door and knew he was either pacing or approaching it just as she was.

"Barry?" She called out quietly, pausing a few steps down the short hall. "Barry, are you-?"

The door opened, and her eyes widened. She held her breath as she looked up at him, his hair a disheveled mess, his expression heartbreaking. She could see he'd been crying or at least near tears. She berated herself for not hearing it. She knew the sound of muffled crying into a pillow because she'd heard it numerous times down the hall when they were children.

"Oh, Barry." Her heart broke and she reached her hand up to the side of his face. He leaned into it, breathing a little bit easier.

Then he lowered his own hand to her face, cradling it, transferring comfort to her the same as she was to him. Surely he was more burdened than she was, but he saw the heartbreak for him on her face. He wanted to soothe it, and he wanted to thank her for being so good to him.

"I can't sleep," he finally said, but he didn't open his eyes. He held her hand against his face instead, afraid she'd let go. Nothing on earth could've made her.

"Barry," she said softly but as a demand that brought him to attention, made him open his eyes.

He looked at her, his eyes searching for an answer just as they had before when she'd kissed him with no warning. She slid her hand up his shirt, clutched his collar and pulled him down to her just as she went up onto her tiptoes.

When their lips touched, she swore she felt a spark, even with his speed gone. Or maybe it was just the inevitability of what was about to happen, of what had always been destined between them.

 _"Wait, we were married?"_

She broke away after one kiss, but she didn't move. She stayed frozen inches from his lips, their breath intermingling, fate hanging in the balance.

And after that one moment, he kissed her on his own. His hands cupped her face, and he kissed her again and again. The kisses became hungrier, more feverish, and before either of them knew it he was backing up into her bedroom straight for the bed and Iris was kicking the door closed behind them.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Written for Day 6 of my _25 Days of Westallen Fanfiction_ event. Enjoy!

 ***** Many thanks to **sendtherain** for beta'ing.

 ***** I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

 **Chapter 2 -**

It was still dark when Barry's consciousness returned to him. His eyes opened a sliver, and all he could make out from the nearby window was a medium shade of blue trying to crack through the blinds. Still, the knowledge was enough to make him register other things. Such as his feet hanging off the edge of the bed, the walls being bare, the room being smaller than the one he usually slept in, and a _warm body sleeping next to him_.

Slowly, he turned to look who it was and fought to hold in the gasp when _Iris_ was in plain sight.

He fell off the bed instead. He lay low, pinned to the floor when he heard the sheets rustle and Iris moan a bit, no doubt at the absence beside her. She didn't wake up though. When Barry realized he was dressed in only his boxers, he began a desperate search for his clothes, which had ended up in a pile near the door.

He reached for his pants, intending to use his speed to put them on and race out of there, try to figure out what had happened later. But when no electricity sped through his veins, and his movement forward ended in a low-to-the-ground plop, the events of the night before came racing to the forefront of his mind.

Zoom kidnapped Wally. Barry gave up his speed for Wally. Zoom, now twice as fast, kidnapped Caitlin. Iris kissed him.

Iris _kissed_ him.

He hadn't gone home to Joe's. That much was clear. But he'd – _oh my God_.

He'd gone home with Iris, and –

He spotted her heap of pajamas in another pile and glanced over the top of the bed to see the dip of cleavage from the blanket slipping down Iris' sleeping form. For a moment, his mind went completely blank.

Then – _Did we use a condom?_

No. No, no, no, no, no. He could not have possibly lost his speed, lost Caitlin, kissed Iris, had sex with Iris, and gotten her pregnant all in the same night.

 _No_.

This was the worst time for any of that, but especially, what if –

No.

He stomped down the possessiveness over a possible child growing in Iris' womb – their possible child. With him powerless and Zoom as relentless as ever, the timing would be –

Clumsily, he gathered his clothes, dressed, and snuck out of Iris' bedroom. He needed to get some air. He needed to figure this out. Maybe Iris was on the pill. She did say she was going on a date with Scott the other night. Maybe she'd prepared.

A nasty feeling flooded his stomach at the idea of her having sex with someone that wasn't him. It was bad enough when it was her longtime boyfriend – Eddie Thawne. But her _boss_? A guy she didn't know that well? A guy who _hated_ the Flash?

He felt the urge to punch this guy, whoever he was. And then he remembered he lost his super speed. Which mean he probably wasn't too good at punching and definitely wouldn't be able to dodge very well if the guy tried to punch him back. Maybe the guy would even call the police to arrest him.

"Possessive, Barry," he muttered to himself once he was in the small little kitchen. "Too possessive."

He heard vibrations nearby and realized he'd left his phone on the end table in Iris' bedroom. Panic set in, but he figured he needed his phone. If anyone had any ideas concerning Zoom and Caitlin, if Singh was annoyed he was taking so long to get to work – what time was it anyway? He didn't know. He just knew that he couldn't speed in and out of Iris' bedroom without being caught if she was anywhere near awake.

He glanced down at the little table in front of the small loveseat sofa and spotted Iris' phone.

 _Don't do it. It makes no sense. It will make things even more awkward later. Just go in, and –_

He snatched up Iris' phone and exited her apartment.

…

The knock on the metal door frame was a welcome relief to Barry after the hours he'd spent agonizing over forensic science in the lab. He hadn't lost his love for being a CSI. Of course he hadn't. But sometimes the work was time-consuming, and as a speedster… Well, it hadn't been.

When he saw who was standing in the doorway though, he almost wished he could use his work as a means to wish him away. He knew it was bad. Joe was only there out of concern for him, because he'd never called or texted to say he wasn't coming home last night. But the only sentence that blared across his mind when he looked into the older man's eyes was _: I had sex with your daughter_.

"Hey, Joe."

Calm, smart, level-headed. _Good job, Allen._

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

 _Crap._

"Uh, y-yeah, of course, what's-"

"You didn't come home last night," he said, taking a seat across from him. He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. "And you said you needed to talk."

Barry's brows furrowed. "I-"

Joe held up his phone, showing a text from Barry – really from Iris – asking if they could talk.

What a girl his best friend who kissed him and then had sex with him was.

"Right." He cleared his throat and momentarily avoided eye contact. "I…I stayed with Iris last night." His fingers rolled a pencil back and forth on his desk, unintentionally sending it flying across the room on his last word.

"Oh," Joe said, worrying more about his mental health than his sleeping arrangements. "Are you okay?"

Barry met his eyes. _Am I okay? I slept with your daugh-_

"I know last night was rough for you," Joe continued. "But I just want you to know we're all here for you. We're going to figure something out."

Barry tried to focus on his words, to get his mind off Iris and what had happened with her, to focus on the other very real problems at hand. Defeating Zoom. Rescuing Caitlin. Restoring the Flash to superhero of the city.

But that weighed him down, made him feel lost and alone, no matter what anyone else said. He felt like a failure. As embarrassing as the situation with Iris was, it was easier to focus on how to deal with that than to remind himself that he'd failed the city once again. He'd let his ego get the best of him and been too sure that Zoom wouldn't outsmart him. He'd been wrong.

But he couldn't let Joe know what had happened between him and Iris. He'd been rooting for them since day one, but there were some things a father shouldn't know about his daughter, even if they involved the man he would've handpicked for her.

"I know," he said, nodding, fighting the inner turmoil inside himself, pushing the flimsy lid down as hard as he could. "We'll think of something."

"Are you going to tell me why you didn't come home last night?"

Barry met his eyes. "Wally doesn't know," he admitted, the inner lid almost slipping from his grasp.

Joe's eyes widened knowingly.

"I couldn't go home and pretend I was all right with him there. I needed a safe place where I didn't have to worry about keeping up appearances. Harry's at STAR Labs and is probably madder at me than I am at myself. And Cisco…he must be devastated over Caitlin. There's no way I could…" he trailed off, then pursed his lips. "But Iris-"

"I understand," Joe said, cutting him off.

Barry glanced over at him. "You do?

Joe nodded. "She's your safe space." Slowly, he got to his feet. "Next time just let me know, okay? I was worried about you."

"Joe, I'm-"

"It's all right. Just, next time?"

"I'll let you know. I promise."

Joe nodded his thanks and headed out the door. Barry nearly fell out of his seat. He'd been honest with Joe, and that was important. But there was no way he could get around this. Either deal with Iris or deal with Zoom. The latter seemed almost impossible at this point, but he had to try. Iris could wait a while.

She was certainly easier to think about though. Memories of their night together had returned gradually throughout the morning, and his lower regions were eager to repeat the experience.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Written for Day 18 of my _25 Days of Westallen Fanfiction_ event. Enjoy!

Dedicated to: **Fowsia/iriswestallens** (on tumblr/twitter)

 ***** Many thanks to **sendtherain** for beta'ing.

 ***** I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

 **Chapter 3 -**

Thinking back on what he'd been distressed over earlier that morning, he knew now he definitely could've had it worse if he hadn't spent the night with Iris. Today, even with all the embarrassment he felt over not knowing how to process the situation with so much else going on, the spiteful words Harry threw his way during the team meeting told him loud and clear how foul his whole mood could've been if he hadn't had such a great distraction hovering at the forefront of his mind.

If he'd woken up in his own bed that morning after a restless night of sleep, he could've recalled how nearly every morning had been for the past year and a half. Everything done at lightning speed, he would've dressed, eaten, grabbed a coffee, and sped through his case files in a flash. Literally. Before noon he would've been back at STAR Labs to discuss their current predicament. If he had his speed, they might still be on sort of the same level playing field as Zoom. He wouldn't have that holding him down. The threat of Zoom would still loom large, but they'd have a card to play, a tool they could use against him if a fight suddenly arose. They wouldn't be helpless at his mercy.

So, if he hadn't woken up half-naked in Iris' bed, with memories of their night together filtering through his mind, the heaviness of everything surrounding Zoom, an angry Harry and a missing Caitlin would've weighed him down and either helped him focus on work or slowed him down even more than the lack of super speed.

He'd avoided that heaviness earlier, but now he felt it setting in hard. Because they _were_ helpless. Cisco had been able to vibe Caitlin and found her unharmed, but they had no way of rescuing her. He had been the only good speedster they knew. It felt good to hear Iris defend him, given they still hadn't addressed last night's…activities or exchanged phones, but he could hardly refocus on their unspoken issue now. It felt miniscule in the face of everything else.

Despite his lack of speed and memories of sex with Iris messing with his focus in the CSI lab, he had managed to finish all his case files. With Cisco in his workshop doing God knows what and Joe heading back to CCPD, Barry knew Iris would be soon to follow. After all, she had a job she needed to be getting back to. Her life hadn't come to a halt just because his had.

A knock on the doorframe into the med lab interrupted his thoughts, and he looked to see a sympathetic Iris standing there. His mind went blank, not knowing how to react to this new development or even how to form words.

"How are you doing?" she asked, leaning her head against the frame.

He turned in the chair he sat in and tried to make his brain function. The need to seek comfort from her as a friend, push her away even though she was likely only trying to help, or attempt to broach the topic of last night made all his brain cells short circuit. In the end, all he could manage was a half-hearted shrug.

"Yeah," she said, walking into the room and grabbing her own chair to sit in. "Thought so."

She pulled his phone from her pocket and held it out to him.

"I thought you might want this back."

He looked down at it, forced himself to think logically, and took it from her. Then he pulled her phone out of his pocket as well, letting her take it from his hand.

"Sorry about that," he muttered.

"It's okay," she said, shrugging it off. He knew it wasn't, but he wasn't in a good enough headspace to tackle that conversation. "I get it."

He nodded.

"Thanks for uh, telling Joe I needed to 'talk'."

He didn't know how the comment came out, but when he looked into her eyes, he saw they were lit up with good-natured amusement.

"Any time."

He sighed and sank back in his seat, the lightness between them quickly seeping out until he could sense the heaviness settling over her too.

"You don't have to stay here, Iris. I know you have work to get back to."

She shrugged. "I worked all morning. I can call it a day, do the rest of work at home later."

"No, Iris-"

"Okay, okay," she said gently, trying to calm him while also refusing to leave. "I just want you to know I'm here, Barry."

"I know." He nodded.

"Please don't push me away," she said softly.

That seem to jog something inside of him, and he looked up at her, less ready to attack.

"I'm sorry, Iris. It's not that I-"

She leaned forward so her elbows rested on her thighs and folded her arms.

"If you want to forget last night, Barry, we can forget last night. If it's just one more thing that you can't handle right now, we can push it aside until later or forget it entirely." She reached out to grasp his wrist. "What's important to me right now is you."

He didn't know how it was possible to feel the desire to pull her closer and push her away so strongly at the same time, but he did. He looked at her with tears in his eyes, because he didn't know what else to do. He knew when she saw the evidence because she moved from her seat on the chair to one with her knees on the ground and reached up to hug him. He didn't move to return the embrace, but his head fell onto her shoulder, seeking peace. She held him tighter, and he let himself succumb to it. Just a few more moments like this and maybe he could take on the rest of the day.

…

His moment with Iris had helped earlier. She had to go back to work eventually, and he pushed her to go within a half hour of caving to her comfort, but there was no denying her one-on-one presence had helped him. And maybe she was right. Maybe he could push the elephant in the room between them to the side for a while until they figured out a plan to save Caitlin at the very least and then somehow get his speed back too.

But when the alarm had gone off from the STAR Labs van, soon after revealing that Wells had gotten into a crash and been taken, it was all Barry could do not to drown into a pit of despair again. More than anything he wished it wasn't a meta. If it wasn't a meta, the incident could be reported and forwarded to Joe and handled like a routine investigation. Barry knew Joe would make it a priority if he asked. They couldn't do much from STAR Labs, but if he could even be the one making the phone call, he'd feel he was making some kind of contribution to the rescue of their bitter friend, Harry Wells.

Being nowhere near where the van had crashed and not wanting to pull Cisco away from whatever he was doing, he headed out on his own and called Iris on the way, hoping she'd be nearly to STAR Labs by the time he got out the front door.

Well, he'd had to wait a few minutes, which was painful even as a non-speedster, but he couldn't find it in himself to be mad at her when she showed up in her little blue car with another reassuring smile on her face and unlocked the door for him. He climbed inside and quickly explained the situation to her, and soon enough they were on their way.

"Talk to me, Barry," she said when he hadn't said a single word ten minutes later.

It was another twenty minutes until they reached the crash site, so Barry figure he better fill the silence with something, even if it was a request not to talk.

"Nothing to say, Iris." He shrugged, looking out the window, his fingers running along the window ledge on the car door.

He didn't want to come across snappy, but he was feeling the weight of the situation again, and it wasn't exactly reasonable for her to hug him and drive at the same time.

"C'mere," she said, which confused him. She couldn't have possibly read his mind, and yet when he looked over at her, he saw she was holding her hand out to him. Relief washed over him, and he took the invitation.

Repositioning himself so he sat straight in his seat, he rested his arm on the handle ledge in the car door and set his other hand on top of hers, instinctively intertwining their fingers together. Iris squeezed his hand tightly in response and smiled at him when he met her gaze. He smiled a little in response and let her rest their folded hands on top of the closed compartment between the seats as she focused back on the road.

He felt butterflies erupt inside of him from the whole exchange and thought maybe if he just let himself lean on her for support, let her share some of the weight he was trying to hold up all by himself, they could get through this. Then maybe they could see if there was something more.


End file.
